Let’s talk about communication. Why? Excellent question.
Good communication skills are essential in our day to day life with family and friends, but it is critical at work. Communication is a skill that needs to be worked on, improved upon, and worthy of our attention. Your current and future employers demand you have it.
Let’s face it, even though words come out of your mouth, does NOT mean that people hear your message. Since we attempt to communicate every day, shouldn’t we understand a little bit about the process?
The Process
The process of communication actually begins in the brain. There’s a message you want to send to (insert name here). Your brain forms the message. While this may be an easy first step, this is also the first place where the breakdown can occur. Did you ever forget what you were going to say? Have you ever said: ‘I can’t find the right word(s)?’ Yep, me too. Breakdown.
The message then moves from the brain to the mouth. This is yet another place where the communication process can breakdown. Have you ever said: ‘I can’t say what I’m thinking?’ The message is right there on the tip of our tongue, but it just won’t come out! Breakdown.
OK, let’s say the message makes it from your brain and out of your mouth just to reach the receiver’s ear. That poor little message has to wade through a lot of noise to reach that ear. The noise around us can be deafening. The message has to fight to get through everything else trying to drown it out. Breakdown.
What is noise? Noise is everything else. The phone ringing, people talking in the background, cars, the guy in the next office talking to himself, even the shiny object that distracts the receiver’s attention. Get the picture? Noise is all around us and can cause your message to either die before it gets to the ear or lose the understanding.
Once the message gets through the noise and to the receiver’s ear, it goes to the brain. Oh, that poor little message. The receiver’s brain is a scary place. If you thought the noise was bad before, there’s even more internal noise in the receiver’s brain. Are they going to understand the message as you intended it or are they going to continue with their grocery list or relive their memories of last weekend and get to your message on their own time? Breakdown.
Understanding the Message
Ever play a game of telephone? Or did you call it Chinese Whispers? Whatever you call it, the message starts one way and ends up something completely different.
A message can be corrupted, distorted, misinterpreted, or just plain messed up by a number of different things. Is the noise (external and internal) making it impossible for the receiver to hear the message correctly? Is the receiver actively listening to the message? Is the receiver processing the message the way it was intended?
Since we all come with our own different backgrounds and experiences, we all interpret the same message differently. Who we are, how we were raised, and how we move through the communication process (just to name a few) can affect how we understand the message.
How do we fix it?
Again, no one answer will do. All we can do is work on how we send and receive messages.
Are you an active listener?
Do you make sure the receiver understands your message the way you intended?
Are you a participant in the communication process or are you a victim?
Have you jumped to conclusion without hearing the whole message?
Do you care?
Miscommunication can lead to time lost, arguments, hurt feelings, poor work performance, rumors/gossip, assumptions, contract disputes, firings, well, you get the picture. Miscommunication is bad.
And yet, we have only scratched the communication surface. Don’t get me started about documents, letters or emails with misspellings and grammatical errors. Talk about noise that distracts from the message!
Each one of us has a responsibility to be an engaged student of communication.
Challenge
I challenge you to be a better communicator. It’s hard work. Go ahead, try it.
Other articles and information about communication and the pitfalls of miscommunication:
Amy Hedges
Dean of Business & Technology
Beckfield College